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The Antidote: Self-CompassionĪ seminal work on self-hatred and self-compassion is titled, appropriately enough, Compassion and Self Hate (by Theodore Isaac Rubin). No matter what, you possess a fundamental goodness that is not touched by external events, in the same way the clouds can cover the sun but never really touch it. No matter what you did or did not do as a child, no matter what trauma you endured, the hurt part of you deserves love, compassion, and nurturing. This can help you to develop compassion for yourself. It is helpful to understand how your own self-hatred formed. Often, people experiencing unhealthy shame feel that if others saw their real self, then nobody could possibly love them. Shame is a feeling of essential badness that they simply cannot shed. Many people who feel shame cannot assign it to any particular action. Instead, it is a manifestation of self-hatred, a message that when they do things wrong (or, at least, differently than they wish they had) then they are wrong, a judgment of the person and not the act. However, the majority of shame that people experience is not a healthy tool for learning right from wrong. Shame can be healthy, the mind’s tool for helping people understand when they have done something that must not be repeated.

Self-hatred and shame are related but not synonymous.

As a result, many people who have endured sexual assault, combat, or other trauma blame themselves for what they endured, and self-hatred grows. It can feel safer to attack oneself over what happened than to accept that bad things happen randomly in the world-and can happen again, at any time. This happens when, for whatever reason (genetics, environment, plain bad luck, etc.), a child experiences anxiety, perfectionism, or other traits that conjure feelings of self-blame in the face of fear, imperfection, or other perceived flaws. Sometimes, a child never hears harsh judgment from a parent or other caregiver, yet self-hatred manages to fester. It is much less chaotic for a child to think something is wrong with himself than to think he cannot rely on the people upon whom he depends for food, shelter, and survival. Instead of saying, “Something is wrong with Mom/Dad,” the child usually thinks, “Something is wrong with me.” That simply is how a child’s mind works. An adult shouldn’t say such mean things to me. It takes a very mature and insightful child to say to herself, “Something is wrong with Mom/Dad for telling me this. If a parent tells a child that she is good for nothing or can’t do anything right, then that becomes the truth in the child’s mind. Trauma experienced after childhood also can fuel negative feelings about oneself.Ĭhildren believe what they hear from others. Self-hatred almost always stems from childhood. If you beat up on yourself, are disgusted with yourself, or in any other way experience the effects of self-hatred, there are two important things to know: why the self-hatred exists, and what you can do about it.

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